I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
