I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
