ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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