Cold hands, warm shart.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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