So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
