It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
