no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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