My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
