One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
