You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
