was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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