If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
