you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
