Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
