theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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