Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
