is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
