I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
