I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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