I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
