Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My ATM looks so different sober.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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