can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
