Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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