Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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