yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
