if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
