Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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