i just had sex bonerless
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
