And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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