The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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