I want to make a zoo with you.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I looked at my own cervix.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
