i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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