I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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