No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
