i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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