And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
