That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
