unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
