stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
