I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
