i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize