so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
