Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
