is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
