Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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