So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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