yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
