Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
