Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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