He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
