no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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