you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
