So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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