My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
