marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
