the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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